I leave for New York in less than two weeks. It's a bit surreal to think about it. I moved to California on January 31, 2004. Now I will be starting a new chapter in my life. I am motivated to make it work and go up from here. The last five months have been one of the most difficult months in my life. Dealing with emotional problems and psychological issues. I realize now that I have to do things out of my comfort level to help myself. I have to learn to not trust my instincts. I have to be realistic about my expectations. I realize that the weather won't be like it is in California and that will be an adjustment. I also realize that I will have anxiety and stress when I start my new job. But, I need to listen to my doctors and take a step back and look at things from an outside perspective. Giving myself positive reinforcement and not being too hard on myself will be a necessity. On the social side I know that I will have people to call, I just have to make the calls, make the plans, and be positive at all times no matter what happens. I can't rely on anyone for anything. I need to have confidence in myself. Even if I don't have it I have to try to pretend that I have it. I can control my life and how I want it to be. I can get anything that I want by working hard at it and not giving up. Eventually things will start to fall in to place if you continue to work at them.